Since I also like to analyze people as a hobby psychologist, I always like to watch trash TV. Battle of the Reality Stars is currently running. There is the shepherd Heinrich, who absolutely avoids conflict. He wants to be liked by everyone, doesn’t dare to open his mouth and is heavily criticized for it. Others, like Elena Miras, never stop speaking up for themselves, justified or not. For years I preferred not to say anything myself because the stress was always too much for me. Whether in friendships or in professional life. At least that’s what I told myself. But why am I afraid of conflict?
I am very afraid of conflicts
I myself am a person who reacts very emotionally very quickly. Even small arguments lead to big tears. Conflicts therefore cause me great anxiety because I then have to deal with them. I have to endure negative feelings. The avoidance tactic often seems to be the better alternative. In fact, as I’ve learned even more over the past few days, the middle ground is probably the best solution here too. Don’t put up with everything, but also don’t start a fight right away – but represent your own opinion in a friendly and determined manner and stand up for yourself. Phew, not that easy!
Why am I afraid of conflict?
What do Schäfer Heinrich, I and maybe you have in common? Well, there are certainly very different reasons why someone is or has become conflict-averse. In any case, we are all very in need of harmony and believe that arguments are better suppressed. But in fact, that is also part of healthy relationships.
This is how non-violent communication works
I also find it fascinating that Rosenberg sees every form of violence as a tragic expression of an unfulfilled need. He also says that people are quick to respond to criticism with either defense or counterattack.
This is exactly what scares me so much about conflict. Can non-violent communication help me assert myself better and more comfortably in the future? What bothered me at first was that it almost seemed like a form of manipulation. But I think I just need to read up more on the subject and get to know it better. That’s why I want to get some literature on it too!
Have you ever explored nonviolent communication? Do you see yourself as conflict-averse?
