Almost exactly a year ago I really started listening to Laura’s podcast over and over again. That’s when I first heard of “forgiveness”. That was a very big rejection for me at the time, I was firmly of the opinion that I can never forgive what my parents did to me. I still didn’t understand what forgiveness really means. Because it’s not about suddenly condoning what happened. You don’t even have to contact the people you want to forgive. Instead, you accept what is so far. Make your own peace with it. Through this acceptance you break the resistance, can heal and finally live in the present.
We hold on to something when we resist it
If we cannot accept certain things from the past, if we keep fighting against them, then we are holding ourselves back from living a happy life. We live through the conflicts again and again in the present, trying to solve them. All my previous “relationships” have been a minefield, which has always reminded me of my family tragedy.
But now I understand that it wasn’t “stupid” on my part, but that life sent me these people so that I could resolve conflicts. So that I look, do not repress. No human is accidental in your life. Relationships with other people always hold a mirror up to us so that we can recognize ourselves.
After learning a lot about the misconceptions about forgiveness , I was ready to tackle it. Online coaching works very well for me because I can deal with it at my own pace in my safe space at home. This is easier for me because it can be easily integrated into my everyday life and is not easy for me.
I never thought that I would be sitting here a year later and seriously starting a course on forgiving mothers. We ask ourselves many questions, do meditations and examine the topic of forgiveness from all sides. It helps me a lot. But I didn’t think that the real problems would start with forgiving the father. I can not do that. Every time I try to start meditating on this subject, I drift off. How deep is this pain, why was I never aware of it? “Father” was never present for me, as if the topic didn’t even exist. After all, I hardly know this man, who is he to me?
What does forgiveness really mean?
So far, forgiveness has been the biggest game changer in my personal development . I realized that my mother is just a hurt child who never learned how to express love. I never want to be in contact with this woman again because of everything she did to me. That’s not what I was talking about. I do not absolve them of guilt. I absolve myself from continuing to live with this accusation against her. What happened, that happened. It made me the person I am today and gave me many strengths along the way. Through forgiveness I can stop living in the past. Acceptance = letting go, that is forgiveness.
We can also forgive ourselves. Sometimes we judge ourselves even harder than we judge other people. What do you finally want to forgive?